Riverdale: the Grundy problem

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I’ve been watching Riverdale for the last four episodes.

I’ve started and stopped so many posts about this show it isn’t funny. About the apparent erasure of Jughead’s identity of being asexual and aromantic (as the comics have spelled out) – as Cole Sprouse spilled in an interview before the show started airing. About how Kevin Keller’s written as though we’re still in the days of Will & Grace. All snark, sex, and stereotypes – but no real substance. About the continued queerbaiting with Betty & Veronica in promos, the awkward references that are sometimes out of date by the time the episode aired….

But I have a real issue with what was seemingly wrapped up in last night’s episode. The Grundy problem. From the pilot onward, we witnessed the incredibly uncomfortable and illegal relationship between 15 year old Archie Andrews (yes 15 – he’s a sophmore, remember?) and the hot music teacher Miss Grundy.

The show tried to pitch it as a taboo romance, even though Jughead wisely knew it was just wrong and that Archie was being taken advantage of. Betty, too, though her actions were tempered by Archie’s own feelings on the matter.

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It’s 2017, and I’m falling apart.

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The irony is, it isn’t even the political stuff.

My name is Whitney Drake, and I’m probably in the worst shape I’ve been in the last 4 years. I apologize to anyone who liked hearing about my progress, because there’s a reason I haven’t written about living with Crohns – 2016 was a year of frustration and that’s hard to write about.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. If you’re new to my blog, I have Crohns disease. It’s an IBD, an inflammatory bowel disease – which are a family of diseases where your body attacks part of your digestive system. I have Crohns, and my body is attacking my small intestine.

Nobody knows what causes Crohns for sure – the best lead is that it has something to do with the bacteria you do and don’t have in your intestine. But there is no cure and mostly people just treat it, aim for remission, until they have to have their intestine removed completely.

This time last year, the medicine I’d been taking stopped working. That was budesonide aka Entocort (a steroid). My doctor put me on a new pill, Pentasa, which is this big pill I have to take 2 of, 4 times a day. It worked alright?

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To the Young Women of the US, why we march.

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I’m going to do something shocking. And repost something I wrote on another social network. I actually posted this on Tumblr and on FB before I put it here. It was prompted by seeing several young women (all 23 and under) sharing right wing memes insulting women who took part in the Womens March(es).

It breaks my heart to see young women, working 40+ hour work weeks who claim they have the exact same rights as men. Who tear down women who found a way to march (often at economic hardship), just to seem superior.

I don’t care if you don’t understand it. You’re young, and you don’t know the barriers you have yet to hit based on your gender alone. You probably haven’t worked in a field where your wages weren’t set by a union (that was a rude awakening for me, let me tell you). You haven’t seen female workers who’ve been there longer than you hit the glass ceiling again and again, while men who’ve done half the work and been there half the time get promoted. You haven’t had to justify to your boss that your maternity leave won’t affect your work output (much less research filing for disability because your company doesn’t cover it) – that you’ll answer the phone no matter what, even though that’s actually illegal. You haven’t reported sexual harassment to a manager, only to be told they can’t do anything because it’s ‘he said she said’ and you’ll have to suck it up when working with your harasser.

You might not have had to live in a state (or needed services) to get reproductive health care and had to jump through hoops – like driving across the state to see a doctor. I’m not even talking about abortions. I’m talking about regular, affordable health care since it’s only been recently that your birth control, pap smears and mammograms had to be covered. (And probably won’t be much longer)

What I can tell you is that those women aren’t lazy. A lot of those women marched knowing that they were being photographed by the police in order to be identified. They knew it might have repercussions, and yet, they went anyways. They went because they had something to say and wanted the world to listen.

And if they’re lazy… then what does that say about the women all around the world who joined them in solidarity?

Stop tearing other women down. I’m not tearing you down – I’m urging you to respect that there are things you haven’t experienced, and that most of us hope that you NEVER experience. That most of us fight so that you won’t have to deal with it.

Were these women crass? Sure. It was a direct response to the very words used by the man that you helped elect, probably. (I’m basing that off all the hashtags I see on these posts) Want to Make America Great Again? Do a little research. Understand the wage gap (especially as it breaks down for non-white women). Understand the reality for many women in the United States – especially women of different ethnicities and class levels as you.
Just because it hasn’t happened to you yet, doesn’t mean it can’t. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to help out the women that it IS happening to.

The hardest thing for me is that the attitude of these memes isn’t that “I disagree with you” it’s that “there’s nothing to complain about. If it isn’t a problem that affects me, it isn’t a problem.”

And just because you are young and fortunate enough not to have those issues – doesn’t mean it might not be an issue for you in the future. Personally, I don’t want any woman to have to know what it’s like to be prosecuted for a miscarriage- which bodies do naturally. I’d like you to get to choose your life’s path, instead of having it chosen for you by a group of rich, white men who don’t understand how a woman’s body works.

That’s what feminism is, no matter what a talking head said – even if she’s a woman on the right.

Support women. In the US and Worldwide

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There’s a copy/paste going around Facebook, sharing a woman’s feelings about why she didn’t march in the Women’s Marches yesterday.

Essentially it boiled down to “why would I whine about what I have here, when women around the world have so many fewer rights.”

Here’s why it bothers me.

It’s an all too common reply when people want to make social change, to bring up conditions in the rest of the world.

The fact is, that we don’t live elsewhere. We live here. And I do not mean to undermine the conditions that exist in other countries (in fact, I do what I can to support humanitarian causes to improve those), but I want to point out something fundamentally simple:

You can fight for the equality you should have in this country, while doing what you can to help women elsewhere. In fact, women of the US – if you were to help fight for wage equality here, that would give you extra money to help women world-wide.

But instead, you call protestors whiners, who simply don’t recognize what a great life they have. I can assure you that isn’t the case.

Instead, they’re women who recognize that they live in one of the leading countries in the world. And the only one where they don’t have equal access to healthcare. One where they have to be concerned that they’re being paid at most 79 cents on the dollar compared to male counterparts. And that’s just white women.

When you say it isn’t worth complaining, you tell me that it’s okay that Hispanic women on average, make 55 cents for every dollar that a white man makes in this country. You tell me that it’s okay that we have to work at least twice as many hours to try to make up the difference, to provide our families the same life.

You say that it’s okay for the majority of us to live with barriers that keep us from moving up in the world. Whether it’s being able to make enough to afford an apartment and stop living on the street, or being able to afford to buy a house. Or buy a brand new car instead of a used car that will lead to endless repairs (and eat up what little money they did have). Or save to send their children to college. To support their parents.

It hurts because I see these same people apply these same complaints to any protest regarding equality in the US – yet complain when the United States gives foreign aid to other countries.

You can’t complain about both those situations, unless you’re satisfied that the system works well enough for you.

They walk, they fight, to make things better in the United States – so that we can acknowledge that the very truths laid out in the documents that shaped our country are true. That this is a country where all are equal.

And the beautiful thing about it, is that when the US thrives, we can use our own privilege to help those countries. Whether it’s on a personal or national level.

But we don’t. We turn away refugees. We donate money to worldwide causes when celebrities fundraise, but stop as soon as the cameras and headlines are gone.

If you want to complain that protestors are whining when they already have so much? You’d better be putting your money where you mouth is and be doing something to raise the situations of women world-wide.

Apathy put us in the exact position we are in. In the US and world-wide. So stop being apathetic, and if you really care about the issues of the world, do something.

Here are three organizations you should support to help women internationally:

Girls Not Brides
Heifer International
Tostan

REVIEW: Hidden Figures (no spoilers)

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Yesterday, I went to see Hidden Figures with one of my best friends. We had lunch, talked about writing (dear God, did I ramble and dominate the conversation – what the hell) and then we saw the movie. This review contains no spoilers beyond what you might have seen in commercials.

Hidden Figures is a movie based on the book of the same name about the true story of three African-American women who worked at NASA in the early 60s, at the height of the space race. This was before the advent of computers, so they had teams of women (both white and African-American) that acted as human computers – performing complex math. In fact, a lot of the plot hinges around an IBM being installed at NASA, with everyone aware that this would impact all the women employed.

Octavia Spencer plays Dorothy Vaughn, the woman heading up the team of ‘colored computers’ – who acts as supervisor to the woman, though without the actual job title (there’s a lot more to her story, but I don’t want to spoil that one bit). Taraji P. Hensen plays Katherine Goble (later Johnson), a brilliant mathematician who finds herself placed with the team calculating launch and landing trajectories for Project Mercury – NASA’s first attempts to get a man into space. Janelle Monae plays Mary Jackson, the member of the group who aspires to be an engineer. All three women are brilliant, and I honestly had no idea how good of an actress Monae is.

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The Galaxy is dimmer tonight.

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I’d sort of prepared myself for losing Carrie Fisher, after the news broke about her heart attack. But it still didn’t lessen the shock or the sadness when I learned of her death today.

It’s easy to say that someone’s just an actor. Just an artist. And I’ve seen plenty of nay-sayers quick to criticize people mourning.

The reason that actors/artists/creators reach us is because they made an impression on us. Either as human beings, or because something they created reached us.

Carrie Fisher was so much more than Princess Leia, though that will doubtlessly be her best known legacy. She was an incredible writer, both in her novels and memoirs as well as screenplays that she wrote – and those she was a script doctor for.

She stopped being a script doctor because the industry didn’t value their work – asking them to submit notes on what they’d change. Realizing that studios would just take the notes and never hire someone, she moved on.

I spend a lot of time on Tumblr. Over there, she’s known as Space Mom. Because her bravery and honesty inspired so many lost younger women to be brave. The awesomeness that is General Leia was pretty much secondary to a woman who wasn’t afraid to talk about the stumbles – whether it was George Lucas insisting she couldn’t wear a bra, living with bipolar disorder – and living unapologetically.

Princess Leia? She might have been awesome and all? But Carrie Fisher was way cooler.

Review: MOANA

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This last weekend, I was fortunate enough to get to see Disney’s latest animated movie Moana – which is out in theaters today!

Tenacious teenager Moana (voice of Auliʻi Cravalho) recruits a demigod named Maui (voice of Dwayne Johnson) to help her become a master wayfinder and sail out on a daring mission to save her people. Directed by the renowned filmmaking team of Ron Clements and John Musker, produced by Osnat Shurer, and featuring music by Lin-Manuel Miranda, Mark Mancina and Opetaia Foa‘i, “Moana” sails into U.S. theaters on Nov. 23, 2016.  ©2016 Disney. All Rights Reserved.

I wish I could have had this review up earlier – but my basic reaction to the movie was !!!!!

And I’m not sure that an entire post of !!!! would have been interpreted in the way I wanted it to.

Moana is the story of the young woman who is the daughter of the head of the village, who finds herself drawn to the ocean instead of the life that’s been laid out for her. She finds herself set out on an epic quest to track down Maui, the demi-god.

This is a beautiful movie from any angle. The art is phenomenal – Disney took great care to show Pacific Islanders in all their diversity, breaking free from their recent streak of extremely similar looking princesses. The story is sincere, and there will be many people happy to know that there isn’t a love story in sight of this story – not unless you could loving yourself or your family. And the music…

The music includes songs written by Lin-Manuel Miranda (the man behind In the Heights and Hamilton), as well as Mark Mancina and Opetaia Foaʻi. As you might expect, the music written by Miranda both fits what you expect from a Disney movie (sweeping ballads) and exceeds it with fun songs for Maui and one of the movie’s villains.

The cast is nearly entirely made of Pacific Islanders – with newcomer Auli‘i Cravalho as Moana, Dwayne Johnson as Maui, Temura Morrison as Moana’s father, Nicole Scherzinger as Moana’s mother, Rachel House as Moana’s grandmother, and Jermaine Clement as Tamatoa. Alan Tudyk is actually the only cast member who isn’t Hawaiian/Pacific Islander, and he voices the chicken.

The movie is touching (I wish I’d brought tissues) and at times a little scary – with some scenes of danger out on open water, as well as fighting some pretty epic bad guys. But we were at a screening with small children and most seemed unaffected.

I definitely recommend that you check it out this weekend!

Update: There are a lot of criticisms from Pacific Islanders about the movie mixing and mashing up various cultures (because there are a lot of separate and distinct cultures). I didn’t go in expecting accuracy, which is why I didn’t mention it. (Heck, I see how movies expect that Hispanic cultures are homogenous) But if you look, you can find some excellent twitter threads on the subject, and it’s worth checking out.

I am still excited that there is a movie featuring a Pacific Islander cast that is positive, and will hopefully get more people interested in learning more. And that while not perfect, Moana is someone that little girls can be excited to see themselves in.

Disney, can we get a real Latina princess now? Elena’s awesome, but one on the big screen would be fabulous.

(Picture from Walt Disney Pictures)

The Trump Administration and criticism.

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In case you missed it, VP-elect Mike Pence went to Hamilton in New York on Friday night. And was booed by theater goers, hardly surprising since the show attracts a lot of the LGBT community, POC, and allies who champion them.

At the end of the show, the cast gave a statement about tolerance and pointed out that their cast’s diversity represents America – and hoped that this might change his POV.

The Trump Administration…. (meaning Donald Trump) tweeted that Pence was lectured and judged and demanded an apology. He later deleted one part of his twitter rant.

I have a lot I want to address.

Mike Pence was booed. He was not ejected from the theater. He wasn’t pushed or shoved. By all accounts, nobody did anything to him other than asking him to stay a moment to hear the cast’s thoughts. Which again, were kind, loving and hopeful, and reminded people that all were welcome at their show.

None of the things that happened are out of the norm for a politician anywhere. As a prominent politician, you are asked to hear things from differing points of view. You are often subjected to boos from people who disagree with you. And going to a pro-immigrant show about revolution (filled with minorities who urged the youth of America to vote against the man who won)? It’s not an entirely unexpected reaction. Especially given Pence’s political history.

So to act as though this was an insult of the highest degree? Either the Trump Administration is thin-skinned and not prepared for common and mostly respectful ways of expressing dissent, or they were trying to change the narrative.

The same day that Pence went to see Hamilton, it was announced that President-Elect Trump agreed to pay a $25 million settlement for the lawsuit alleging fraud with Trump University. Care to take a guess as to which story is dominating the media?

It isn’t the settlement.

If this is simply a twitter temper tantrum- I’m concerned about the potential ramifications of a President who will use Twitter to avoid the Press, rally supporters and then delete impulsive statements. His own campaign placed an emphasis on the importance of not deleting digital documentation – and like it or not, Twitter is the same thing. Deleting tweets is exactly the same as deleting emails. (Though I feel I should point out that deleting emails is something he was guilty of doing with his own business)

But if this was an attempt to manipulate the media against covering Trump’s shortcomings? That’s also something that people need to be aware of, especially since it seems to have worked. Freedom of the press is important. The press is considered the Fourth Estate – there to check against corruption in government. And while I think we can all agree that the modern state of press on television is pretty bad, it’s still important to have, even if journalism on TV is interested more in ratings.

Art is quite often a political work. It’s an artist’s reaction to many things, and Hamilton is a reaction to inequity in the way we remember our own history as well as the way we see our world currently.

Frankly, more people should engage with artwork that is in opposition to what they believe. It makes you think, it makes you challenge your own beliefs. And you grow as a person when you do that.

Instead Trump supporters are calling for a boycott of Hamilton – which is the easiest boycott there is. It’s impossible to get tickets to the show, so it takes zero effort to avoid it. (So far we’re two for two on failed boycott attempts, what with the Trump cup thing not actually doing anything more than giving Starbucks money) Maybe they should actually take a listen to the show, if nothing more that to get a listen and see what happens when a politician is so concerned with controlling their story and their legacy that they essentially destroy their own lives.

Edited to add: Please compare what happened with Pence to the Trump supporter who actually interrupted a performance in Chicago with profanities, showing great disrespect to the cast as well as everyone who paid to see the show. Nobody barred Pence from seeing the show or interrupted his viewing. Whether he was given tickets or bought them – he was allowed to experience the show the same as anyone else in that room.

What’s with the political posts?

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I’ve been writing a lot about politics, which might seem like I’ve come a far way from where I started – blogging about my family.

But it’s what’s weighing on my mind, largely in part due to the conversations I’ve had with my children. Do I really want this to be the world my children inherent? Do I want to teach them that bullies can steamroll over them? Continue to insist that their voices, that their fears are not as important as white voices?

My children believe in the American Dream. It’s been heartbreaking to watch them realize that our country isn’t as fair as it says on the wrapper. That freedom is given first to those with privilege- both financial and societal.

Judging by the response I’m getting from friends and family, I’m going to keep writing.

I’m not an expert. I’m just a woman who started reading and listening to those who know what they’re talking about (though admittedly I’ve read a LOT). I’m someone with empathy who recognized injustice. I’m someone working through how I feel in the way I process – by writing.

So when I muse about my own decisions about stuff – like my feelings on the Galactic Empire – that’s me working through my own stuff.

The only thing I ask of any of you is that you keep reading, especially if you disagree with my point of view. Because to anyone who complains about people protesting, you need to stop to listen about why people are so upset. Why people are so afraid.

(Actually one more thing – if you’re going to wear a safety pin? Just donate money to a charity that supports marginalized groups – like the Trevor Project, Trans Lifeline, BLM, ALCU, SPLC, or a NoDAPL legal fund. If you’re really determined to wear the pin, just find something in your junk drawer. Don’t buy something off etsy. Passive support like pins isn’t going to cut it. Passive support is what got us here. Time to be active, even if it’s just by financing those who CAN/WILL protest.)

Shaking things up.

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Anyone who’s known me for any period of time knows that I have a soft spot for the Galactic Empire. Sure they’re the bad guys, sure they lose in the end (as they should) – but I always had fun pretending. Sneering, etc. And the Imperial March is kick-ass.

No more. It’s fun to be the bad guy when it’s just fiction – but the truth is, the line between fiction and fact has blurred to a point now where I can’t. It’s harder for me to ignore that the Galactic Empire is based on human supremacy… which would be white supremacy in real world terms. It’s not a stretch – their lingo was taken from Nazis. Lucas didn’t invent the name stormtroopers. He built on something terrifying that we would recognize to create the ultimate cinematic evil. (And they’ve made it even more blatant. My son recognized the First Order’s assembly as looking a lot like the Third Reich)

With politics as they are, I can’t pretend anymore. It was easy to think that sort of evil didn’t exist as a large group anymore, that it was scattered pockets of hate – but this election legitimized it. Normalized it. It told people filled with hate that they could step out of the shadows and wouldn’t face retribution for it. Indeed our president elect and his family attempted to tell us that those reports were overblown and likely lies. (Which is a little something called gaslighting. It’s done by abusers to continue their abuse- it’s telling someone that their perception of reality is wrong. It isn’t correcting a lie or being mistaken.)

I’m not going to set aside my anger and rage, no matter what politician tells me ‘it isn’t really that bad’ (even one hateful act committed because someone was emboldened by Trump’s rhetoric is too much). I’m not going to believe that Trump’s followers will listen to his half-hearted “just stop” from his interview on 60 Minutes – especially not when he hired a white nationalist to be his chief strategist. Complacency is what got us into this mess.

People with far more privilege and influence than I have kept looking around and saying, we have laws in place to stop discrimination… we’ve done enough. And ignored all the marginalized groups who said the fight wasn’t done. (And that includes gays and lesbians in the LGBTQ community, white feminists – who repeatedly overlook the needs of marginalized groups within their numbers.)

So I’m putting away my Imperial cogs. And pulling out my Rebel crest. This is a Rebellion isn’t it? I rebel.

i-rebel-icon

Image: mine – I made the vector off an image of the logo, added text