I remember flipping through my mom’s high school yearbook when I was a kid and saw all the inscriptions from friends that said that they’d keep in touch, and friends forever. These were people that I’d never heard of, so I knew that high school friendships didn’t always survive graduation.
I had a best friend in middle school, and she and I wound up going to different high schools. We kept in touch that first year, but with different schools and different interests… it didn’t matter that we had been best friends. Things just fell apart.
After high school, I tried to keep in touch with my friends. But after making some new friends, getting a new job, and having a major falling out with some of my high school friends… I just let go.
I had the realization tonight that another friend that I’d considered a close friend has drifted away from me. Partially because of distance, and mostly because of circumstances (they have a busy life, and the kids take up 99% of my time). I do regret not keeping better touch- but it’s so easy to fall into that routine of your life, isn’t it? To get so wrapped up in what you do day to day that things fall to the wayside. Then, by the time you realize that you haven’t talked or emailed… you realize that you and the person you spent so much time with are just running in two entirely different circles. There’s so little overlap that it might not even matter anymore.
I think it of it as one of those movies where one person dangles over the cliff and the other is trying to hold onto them. Once they start slipping, the character rationalizes that they still have a grip on their hand. That they can reclaim it and pull them up. But little by little, the hand keeps slipping until there’s not enough contact for it to be possible at all. Growing apart is sort of like that. Only sometimes when you look back, you wonder if they slipped- or if you accidentally let go.
Sorry for the downer of a post. After the stress of last week, I’d wanted to keep it light. But I had to share this, because I think it’s something we all can understand. And it’s something I’m going to work on- keeping a better grip.