Geek. Pirate. Mom

The Life and Times of Whitney Drake

An apology.

I have been out of sorts for the last few weeks. I’ve been a little overwhelmed by Back to School stuff, and a lot of personal stuff.

I miss Jerad, and since his birthday, I’ve beating myself up for still feeling like I’ve been betrayed by him. The lonelier I feel, the worse I feel about being mad at him. Weird, I know. Since I can’t remember if I’ve written about why I was upset, it’s because there was a lot he seemed ashamed to tell me. Both about the fact that he was drinking again, and that he was hiding how sick he was- because between the two, if he’d told me… I might have been a little peeved, but I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure he got to the doctor. Plus, having finished the previous seasons of this incarnation of Doctor Who, I just keep being faced with a lot of conversations that we should have had. Man, death sucks.

The blah and self-loathing put a stop to nearly all my creative work, and for that I’m sorry. I’m getting back to my projects tonight- getting a sketch of a tattoo to a friend, and workup for my novel. Tomorrow I will blog about the last couple weeks. Not the self-loathing part, but the wonderful things that did happen.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1462205264 Carolyn Somazze Fodel

    Grief is a funny animal.  You are entitled to work through it at your own pace.  My hubby is a Doctor Who freak, and I guess it is growing on me too.  Do you watch Sons of Anarchy on FX?  I’d love to hear your opinions if you do.

    Keep writing — I read almost all of your posts!

  • http://www.whitneydrake.com Whitney Drake

    Thanks.  I just wish the anger would go away… it feels so weird to be mad at J.

    I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy- I’ve heard it’s a great show, but I’ve been trying to cut back how much TV I watch to give myself more time to write at night.