Evil Thomas.

by , under personal

In 2009, the Oldest Kidlet got a toy that we still talk about in this house. Evil Thomas.

He’s actually “Let’s Go! Thomas” – a toy which puffs on his own and responds to voice commands.

Cute, right? WRONG. There was something sinister about this toy… you see, it was easy to think you turned him off. The power switch had three settings. ON OFF DEMO So it was very easy to put it on demo when you thought you were turning the evil thing off. In order to come to life when someone tries to play with him, he has motion sensors built in.

Quite often, we’d put him away and wind things down for the night. But if you walked past the living room into the kitchen, it’d be enough to trigger him. Dead of night. “Hi, I’m Thomas!” Then he’d start singing, with cheeks that light up. Tell me that isn’t terrifying.

Naturally we called him Evil Thomas. “Sorry, I had to make sure that Evil Thomas really was turned off.” “Dammit, Evil Thomas!” “I swear, if we split up, you have to take Evil Thomas.”

The younger brother-in-law and I used to joke that we’d hide him somewhere upstairs to freak the other one out. But neither of us could do it- we just weren’t sure what you’d have to do to retaliate beyond it, short of something criminal.

So what happened to Evil Thomas? As soon as the Oldest Kidlet started to take a shine to another toy, Evil Thomas went out with our monthly donation to a local charity. To the family that bought him- I am sorry, but you’re just lucky I didn’t douse him in holy water first.