Julie Bowen of Modern Family is coming under fire for her very candid comments on being a mother.
At the Governor’s Ball last night, Bowen had this to say to US Magazine:
“If I wasn’t a mom, I think it’d be harder to understand what it is to live with a child and hate and love them all at once. Claire does that with her kids, and I do that with mine.
I love them so much. There’s always this undercurrent of love, but there are moments when I really wouldn’t mind if a giant hook just pulled them off the stage of my life! I think that’s how Claire feels. But if I wasn’t a parent, I think that dichotomy would confuse me.”
At lot of people think it’s ridiculous that she said she hates her children… but they’re missing the point. Julie, I get you.
She even says in the quote that she doesn’t actually hate them, but it’s the easiest way to articulate that no matter how much you love your children, there are plenty of times that they get under your skin and you wish you had a Delorean or TARDIS to go back and start a childless life. Or that there were in fact groups of nomads* or traveling circuses roaming through suburban America that you could sell your children to.
For some reason, society doesn’t like for moms to admit that sometimes they wish they had childfree lives again. But it’s unreal to think that all children are perfect angels, and that parents aren’t going to be overwhelmed at some moment in time.
I get it. When the boys have been fighting all day long, and nobody wants to listen to me, I’ve uttered this phrase to my husband… and he gets it too. “WTB TARDIS” (For the non gamers, when you’re looking to buy an item in a MMORPG you usually say WTB [item], short for “want to buy”) I also use “Calgon, take me away,” but surprisingly, even fewer people get that one.
Regardless, nobody should be coming down on Julie Bowen for actually being candid about the difficulties of being a parent. It’s refreshing compared to the people who make it seem like their children have no faults and that they have no issues juggling a career and parenthood (or for that matter, stay at home moms who pretend that they have no issues either). Maybe we should all be a little more honest with each other and ourselves.
*Yes, groups of nomads. Someone pointed out that I was being awfully PC in not just using gypsies, but in all fairness- I’d sell my kids to the Roma or Bedouins. Any nomadic group will do, fantasy-wise, so long as I get a monetary return.