Posted in personal
April 6, 2012

She’s So Vain, She Wrote a Post About It

From DailyMail.co.uk
Samantha Brick wrote a piece for the Daily Mail about how much women hate her because she’s beautiful. She wrote a previous piece for them about how she’s used sex appeal to get ahead.

She writes very plainly about how baffled she is by how mean women are to her. She’s nice, she exercises and only eats chocolate on special occassions, should she be punished for taking care of herself? Is it her fault that men offer to buy her drinks, that she gets free flowers? As the old ad went, don’t hate her because she’s beautiful.

The internet collectively told her she was wrong. She’s since whined about how unfair and cruel the internet is, and that it proves her right.

Here’s my take on this. She’s wrong. She’s wrong about the whole thing. Can the internet be cruel? Yes. But a lot of the criticism I’ve seen were people upset because she was wrong about why women dislike her.

Women don’t dislike beautiful women because they’re beautiful. They dislike beautiful women who think that beauty is the only thing that should define them. Women who rely on their looks to get what they want, flirting with men (single or attached) and not caring what anyone else thinks. Women who think they should get all that attention simply because they’re pretty.

There are probably some women who hate Angelina Jolie for being pretty, but I’m sure that the bulk of women who dislike her do so because of who they perceive her to be. They dislike her for “stealing” Brad Pitt, for seeming cold, for adopting a million children from abroad and none from the US, or for a billion other things. It isn’t because they’re jealous of her looks.

Think back to the popular girls that you knew that everyone loved to hate. Odds are it wasn’t because they were popular- it was because they were jerks about being popular and loved to taunt people who weren’t. That’s why Mean Girls wasn’t called Pretty Girls.

She probably has no idea how she comes across. If it’s anything like this piece, it’s probably quite arrogant to anyone who isn’t a man. She boasts that she gives anyone who’s made the effort with their looks a compliment. While it’s nice to be complimented on your looks, there is nothing in any of the pieces she wrote that indicates she holds anything other than appearance to be important.

Who cares if the shallow woman compliments you on your looks? Frankly, we’d all rather hear that someone liked the joke we told or the movie we recommended. Something personal. Not just that we look lovely now that we’ve made the effort.

You know who women also don’t like? Women that accept drinks and gifts from men when they’re romantically involved with someone. Women also don’t like women who use their sexuality to get ahead faster, because it undermines the women who try to prove that they’re more than just a face and a pair of breasts.

Interestingly, there was one point she brought up that I do think was a legitimate thing to discuss. It was about her wearing a similar dress as other women and being told it was inappropriate by her boss. I’ve known plenty of busty women who’ve shown only a slight bit of cleavage and been told it was scandalous, when I was showing more and was told nothing. We do sensationalize breasts and come down harder on women who are comfortable wearing a snug sweater and a tight skirt. Just look at how Christina Hendricks is criticized if she wears a dress that shows of any cleavage, but pick a smaller breasted celebrity and they can practically bare anything any nobody will mention it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the point she was making.

No, she decided that it was because her boss was jealous of her that she was told it was inappropriate. In fact, there was nothing in her piece where anyone admitted that they were jealous of her until they got to know her (which would have proved her point). Instead, every anecdote (like the one with her boss) seemed to indicate that it was the longer they knew her the more they disliked her.

My favorite comment of hers was that out here in LA she doubts that anyone would react the same way as the Brits have. I don’t think she realizes that everyone on the internet is talking about how self-centered she is. Pretty faces are a dime a dozen in Southern California. While being one of the beautiful people helps, it doesn’t guarantee that they’re happy or have real friends. People are unbelievably fake out here. They’ll smile and call you darling, then cut you down to size the moment you’ve turned away. There were celebrities I met at Disneyland that were gorgeous, but I loathed them. Why? They were the rudest, most self-absorbed people I’ve met. On the other hand, I met loads of celebrities who were warm, polite, and ranged from being not so attractive to gorgeous. I didn’t gush over their looks. Okay, if I did it was because they were gorgeous and nice. But them being nice was more important.

I’m sure Ms. Brick will think that this post is bullying because of the anonymity of the internet. But no. It’s because she would believe that even this reaction is out of jealousy. It’s easier to chalk someone’s dislike up to being jealous- it is after all what parents tell their children when other kids dislike them. When really, we just say that to make children feel better- jealousy usually has nothing to do with it.

Yes, the internet can be cruel. There will always be misogynistic responses to anything posted by a woman, as well as out and out violent reactions. But for the most part, if people are upset, there should be a grain of truth in their quickly written comments. From what I’ve found, it wasn’t her looks that people were upset about- it’s that she comes off as being an ugly person inside. If everyone has a problem with you, the problem probably isn’t them. It’s you.

So what do you think- did I get it wrong? Do you think that Ms. Brick is right that women are just petty and jealous when it comes to beauty? Let me hear it in the comments below.

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