Posted in personal
September 12, 2012

Link bait and growing up.

Every so often, posts pop up trying to tell one group of people that they’re doing it wrong. And they’re link bait (posts designed to get you so riled up that you’ll click on it in the first place and immediately tell all your friends to go there and get angry).

The posts that slam geeks for being unwashed masses… gamers being labeled as immature men… female gamers or geeks not really being either, since naturally they’re only there to find men to worship them. All those are examples of link bait.

Jezebel is the latest to join the ranks, posting a long rant about immature women who put off having children, wear cute outfits, have hobbies that don’t revolve around men & babies, and unabashedly wear girly clothes and sparkly nail polish. Since apparently at some point in time you’re supposed to stop being yourself to become a “grown-up.” I won’t link it because naturally- I don’t want to give them traffic. (In the weirdest point, they say that women who wear designer clothes are part of the immature set.)

I am 32. I am a mom. But being a mom doesn’t mean throwing away my rock n’ roll tees, my geek tees or all my knee high boots. It’s still part of who I am. Heck, I didn’t dye my hair green until this year.

The fact of the matter is, that we just need to ignore what people say adults are supposed to be like. I love being a mom. I love being a geek. I love being a stealth pirate (see the above picture for proof). I don’t have to give up any of that because I’m a mom or because I’m a grown-up. I pay my bills on time. I am cool in a crisis. That defines me as a grown-up, not my interests. And frankly, as a mom, I’m setting an example to my boys that it’s important to be yourself.

Yes, I’m married and a mom- that was what was right for me. We shouldn’t be trying to define adulthood as wanting marriage or children, because I know plenty of amazing women who don’t want either. So stop trying to shove women into a mold.

To close, here’s an especially appropriate comic strip from Girls With Slingshots:


I wanted to write about what’s going on with Steven Moffat, the showrunner for Doctor Who and co-creator of Sherlock, but don’t really want to write a giant blog post about it. What started as criticism of how he writes characters (women & gay characters specifically) escalated into pure hate, making him feel like he had no other choice than to delete his Twitter account. And when someone dared to defend him, she started to receive death threats.

You can criticize someone’s writing without become a crazed loon. What could have been a productive discussion about whether or not he has more room to grow as a writer (we all do) turned into a wave of hate that means nobody will listen to anything that might have been a valid point.

Making creators who personally manage their feeds and who go out of their way to interact with fans feel as though they aren’t welcome on the internet just keeps other celebs & creators from doing the same.

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