Good day lassies and laddies – today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now those new to these waters may doubt that I truly be a pirate, but a pirate I be (the name of this blog not be a random assortment o’ titles. Each be truer than true). The sea runs through me veins, same as blood. (Though perhaps that be why they say I got anemia. Aye, I be here all week. Give a coin to yer barmaid.)
In honor of this fine day, I thought I’d offer you lot a brief lesson in speaking like a pirate (and a couple ideas if you have little ones).
Lesson the first, be descriptive. If you run into an ignorant fool, you could call him a daft sprog who couldn’t find the sharp end of a sword. If you wish to insult someone, ten words are better than two. I could tell a blackguard to bugger off, but it be far more threatening to tell them that unless they leave me be I’ll strip ’em, bind ’em and keelhaul ’em. (If you’ve no idea what keelhauling be, you can turn to Google, or accept that it be far worse a punishment than walking a plank. Which by the by, only brethren of the fictional kind dole out)
Lesson the second, it’s arrr. Argh be what the round boy with the beagle say. Yarr be an acceptable alternative.
Lesson the third, if you can’t find words, a threatening scowl will do.
Lesson the fourth… where be the rum?
Now, if you be a pirate parent looking for some fun with the littler members of your crew, don’t be afeard that it be too scary for the likes of them. Pirates need to learn about navigating- so it’s a fine time to teach your sprogs about the stars and the points of a compass. You can always bury treasure in yer yard and leave them a treasure map. (Or you can hide the treasure in the house if you worry about what they might do with shovels!)
If yer crew be older, it’s a fine time to teach them about the rules that pirates lived by. You only became a Captain of a ship if you proved yerself to the crew- it came by a vote. An’ pirates even had an insurance plan o’ sort- you were compensated if you lost a limb in battle. Pirate crews were one of the few places that had no borders. Didn’t matter where ye hailed from, so long as ye did the work. (An’ despite what they say, it weren’t too unusual for women to take to the seas. Though usually it were as merchant sailors)
And just because, here be a picture o’ me dressed like Jack Sparrow. Years ago, TheBoy made plans to be Sparrow for All Hallow’s Eve. As fate would have it, he were unable to attend the party, so instead, I drank some rum and wore the wig.