Geek. Pirate. Mom

Happy Halloween! In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, Tumblr or “the book” – here’s a picture of my kidlets.

This was how our day started. The skies were chilly, and the fog was thick. Sort of the perfect weather to start off Halloween with!

So far we’ve had a busy day. TheBoy took the Oldest Kidlet’s costume parade, and I took the Little Kidlet’s (since I was also helping out with his class’ Halloween party- to help his teachers feel more comfortable with the allergies). So I was at one school all morning, and then picked up the Oldest Kidlet from school and went right back for Parent-Teacher Conferences. Phew!

I’m getting a breather while the kidlets visit their local great-grandparents.

As I was writing this, I got an email from LOFT (Of the Ann Taylor family of stores, Ann Inc, actually) called “We Hope You’re Safe & Sound”. As I’ve seen a lot of companies try to capitalize on the aftermath of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Sandy… I braced myself. And this is what I saw (click to see it full time).

They sent out an email with that message from their CEO- which not only offered their sympathy to those affected, it advised their customers that they’re based in NY and Connecticut and are also affected, and reassured us that their focus isn’t just on getting their business back up and running, but to ensure the safety and well-being of their associates.

Now that is how you handle PR.

Not like the Gap, which had this to say (I have to use my tweet, because they deleted the original tweet):

CLASSY. #headdesk RT @gap All impacted by #Sandy, stay safe! We’ll be doing lots of Gap.comshopping today. How about you?

— Whitney Drake (@whitneyd) October 29, 2012

Yeesh.

Have a Happy Halloween everyone- and be safe!

I’ve blogged about my body and about my health issues. (For those new here, I’m petite, very thin- and naturally so. Sounds like a dream, but there are a lot of health issues that come along with being underweight- and just as much scrutiny from people from assume that I’m thin because of eating disorders. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.)

I am a huge fan of diversity in body shapes, and of fashion, too. So mark me surprised by this ad for the Narciso Rodriguez collection at Kohl’s.

I saw it, and actually had to rewind to watch it again.

In most of the outfits, the models are actually so thin that the clothes hangs off them. We aren’t talking about things draped off a woman’s silhouette. It’s color block dresses that are cut for breasts and curves that aren’t there.

And I’m someone who is thin and embraces her shape. I am comfortable with my bony shoulders and particularly sharp hip bones- that’s my body. I try to be as healthy as I can- I eat well and I exercise.

But this commercial proves that the fashion industry is deluded. In high fashion, they try to say that models need to be thin to show off the clothing better- but in this case, the clothes fit so badly that I wouldn’t even want to go into Kohl’s to see how it actually DOES fit. Not to mention that I don’t want to support a company that would greenlight an ad like this- an ad that clearly enforces an unhealthy ideal.

Am I alone in seeing this?

Update: Googling found this “lookbook” of images that they released of the collection. While the models aren’t as thin- I’m still not sure it’s much of an improvement. I still don’t get much of a feeling how the clothes look on real women.

One of the things I remind my friends who are just having kids (since TheBoy and I were one of the first in our circle of friends) is that kids are sponges. They watch and hear everything.

The Oldest Kidlet says, “Oh. My. Gosh.” just like I do. He went through a phase where everything was awesome. All my fault. (Just like when he was two and was singing Bohemian Rhapsody in the car- but you know… that was awesome. See? The overusage of awesome is my fault.)

Tonight, we were doing laundry and my mother-in-law dumped it on the floor and asked the boys to help. They whined, and I said they could either help fold laundry or put away the few toys they’d gotten out after dinner.

The Little Kidlet chose picking up toys and the Oldest Kidlet chose laundry.

We sat on opposite ends of the pile, and I watched him pick out a pair of his brother’s pajama pants, fold it in half so that the legs together and fold that in half again. Then he reached for another. I just kept watching.

My mother-in-law sat down. “Wow,” I said. “How often do you have him help you?”

“Oh,” the Oldest Kidlet says. “This is my first time folding laundry.”

“Wow,” she said. “He must have just been watching me.”

“That’s exactly what I did.”

And I have to admit, he has it down. Takes each item and folds it and puts them in stacks. There’s a stack for his shirts, his pants, his pajamas, his underwear- and stacks for each of those things for his brother. He carefully lays them flat on the floor so that he can make the folds as neat as possible.

When the Little Kidlet (who is generally the one who sits and observes everything) joined in, he picked up an item of clothes, wadded it up and put it on the appropriate stack.

“Oh, [LK],” the Oldest Kidlet sighed. “When will you learn.”

My mother-in-law and I wonder if we should take advantage of this. Maybe we should get one of those folding boards like they use in stores (or Sheldon has on The Big Bang Theory). Hmm.

I had another long weird week where I didn’t get much running in. So today I went, and as I haven’t been able to complete Week Three Day One yet… I thought doing Week Two Day Three was a good way to ease into it.

Week Three has a five minute warm up and 90 seconds of running, 90 seconds of walking, three minutes of running, and three minutes of walking. It repeats again, and then ends with a cool down walk. I… just can’t do it. Not yet. I get into the two minutes of running and find myself having to stop.

But Week Two has the warm up, and alternates between 90 seconds of running and two minutes of walking. It was a little easier, and wouldn’t you know it- even after almost a week away from running, I went further than I have in awhile.

I ran 1.34 miles, and had an average pace of 14:09 min/mile. I ran wearing my running pants for the first time, with a jacket.. and boy did it feel good!

Though I admit, I have one reason why I might have been speedier than I expected. I decided to run at 6 o’clock and got out the door in 10 minutes. Which meant that with my half hour workout, I was actually trying to beat the setting sun- there aren’t any lights along the trail, and I’d forgotten to bring a flashlight. Turns out that’s a pretty good motivator.

I think that this week I’m going to run every other day, and get back up to speed- so to speak.

Anyone else doing Couch to 5k? I’d love to hear how you’re doing!

Yesterday I was on the phone with my mom (yes, I do talk to her a lot) and she reminded me of a story that had us laughing.

Last spring, I got a phone call from the Oldest Kidlet’s teacher. “Sorry for the last minute call, but OK is getting an award tomorrow, and it’s a big deal. I hope you can make it. It’s a major award- for academic excellence.”

I agreed to go, and told my in-laws about the call. The next day I went to the awards ceremony and when the in-laws got home from work, they asked to see this major award.

Which was a certificate.

My father in law looked at it, then looked at me. “That’s a piece of paper.” And from the look in his eye, I knew what he was thinking.

“What, were you expected a wooden crate marked FRA-GEE-LAY?”

“It’s a major award,” he said. And then we erupted in laughter.

The Oldest Kidlet clutched his certificate to his chest. “This is a major award!” He was so serious, that instead of making us stop laughing- we just laughed even harder.

So what prompted this trip down memory lane? My mom mentioned a thread in a forum discussing what item you cherish in your house that others might think was tacky.

Which made me think of the one thing I want to have when I have a house at Christmas time. Yes. I want a leg lamp. Which might seem tacky, but to me it’s so tacky it’s awesome.

Our family, like most families has a pizza night. That night where you pick up pizza to give everyone a break from cooking.

It’s a tradition in this house, spanning for decades before we moved in and before I joined the family. There’s a pizzeria practically around the corner, that has a one-topping carry-out special. My father-in-law picks up the basics, one cheese, one pepperoni, one sausage, and one with jalepeños. It’s decent pizza, not great, but still satisfying. On special occasions, he gets some from a nicer place. That one has chorizo for a topping.

Now that I’m dairy-free, it rules out pizza for me. (I do miss the chorizo topped pizza) At least pizza I didn’t make myself. Which is fine, because the Little Kidlet’s never been able to partake.

So I make a special dinner for the two of us. Usually either pan-fried polenta with toppings or an allergen-free pizza.

For the allergen-free pizza, I use the Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free pizza mix. In place of the egg the recipe on the back requires, I use the flax swap out. It gives the crust a bit grainier taste, but it’s something that the both of us can eat. I’ve never tried goat’s milk products with the Little Kidlet, so we use Daiya cheese- which is soy-free. It melts pretty well, but you have to be careful not to go overboard. Otherwise it gets a bit gluey. And to that, I use my favorite marinara sauce (which at the moment is Fresh & Easy’s roasted garlic sauce).

So far as other toppings, go, I’ll cook off some bacon until it’s done but a little soft (I like my bacon crispy) and slice up some onions. Then both go on top- and the onion gets nice and soft, and the bacon crisps on top of the pizza.

But that isn’t what we’re going to do tonight. I’m making the Little Kidlet his polenta (because BOY does he love polenta). I buy the premade chubs, slice them and pan fry them in some olive oil. Then they get served with a little sauce and some bacon (you’ll see why in a bit).

For me? I’m going to make slice up some french bread and top it with sauteed mushrooms, onions and bacon. If it’s any good, I’ll take pictures and post the recipe.

What’s your Friday food routine? I’m curious!

“What’s your favorite color,” the Little Kidlet asked me as he sat on the toilet. (We have a lot of conversations while he’s trying to go)

“Green.”

“Not pink?” I suppose I made a weird face, because immediately he looked ashamed and said, “I said something wrong, didn’t I?”

As a little girl, I liked pink. I still do, but it isn’t my favorite color. I mostly wear black and the one color that’s prevalent is teal. I tend to buy accessories with it without even thinking. Heck, I dyed my hair teal.

But pink? I have some obnoxious running socks in hot pink, and a sports bra. But I also have socks in neon green and purple. And another sports bra in light blue. I don’t really have much of anything that’s pink at all.

So I took a deep breath. “Why do you think my favorite color is pink?”

“Because pink is a girl color.”

From there I had the usual conversation about how colors are colors. There aren’t any colors that are boy colors or girl colors. Yes, the usual conversation. It’s one I’ve had with his older brother, countless times.

And you want to know why? It isn’t because of anything they’re taught at school, or anything they’ve learned from their family. I wouldn’t even say it’s because of their friends at school- I’ve met a lot of the kids they know. The Oldest Kidlet plays Star Wars with Little Geek Girl (whose favorite color is “leopard print”). The Little Kidlet is fine with playing house with one of the girls in his class, so long as he gets to be the Ninja Turtle.

I feel comfortable saying that it’s because of the commercials they see. Toys with girls in the commercials? Everything is pink and purple. Anything with boys uses the rest of the color spectrum. And despite all my hard work to teach them that you can play with whatever toy you want, that Star Wars and other geeky things are for girls too (that one was easy since I like Star Wars, Pirates, LEGOs and video games) and that boys like My Little Pony, too… those damn commercials undo all the work that I do.

I see so many people shrug off complaints about gender bias in children’s advertising- and complaints about how deeply it affects younger children, too. But when you look at my two boys- at five and nearly seven, and they know all the names of Disney Channel shows that they don’t watch but see ads for between the shows we do watch, as well as brand names and jingles for about a dozen toys we’ve never owned… it works. It does affect them.

And yes, I am fighting it all the way.

How do you handle conversations about gender roles with your kids?

Right before my 32nd birthday, I cut off several inches of hair and had it dyed teal.

It was liberating in so many ways. All eyes were on me, so I had to just be me. There was nowhere to hide.

Because dear readers, I can’t speak for other shades, but blue-green is really high maintenance. I had to switch to washing my hair with cold water, using a shampoo with dye mixed in to help refresh the color, and do regular touch ups.

And as much as I love it, this has been an exhausting year for reasons I can’t exactly get into here on the blog. I’ll just say it’s been a tough six months for someone dear to me, so I’ve spent a lot of time and energy supporting them. And I’d rather spend my time supporting them than touching up my hair color.

Not to mention that in this exhausting year, I’ve put myself out here with more than just my hair color. I’ve pushed forward to talk regularly with more of the people I really admire, used my blogs to speak up about social issues, or even just to talk about a mismanaged convention. I’ve tried to make sure that you knew the real me.

I don’t need the vivid hair anymore. I don’t think there’s any risk of me hiding- at least not here on the internet (I’m still pushing myself out in the real world). As my mom told me when I told her I was thinking about going back to brown, I found my “inner green.” Which is what mattered, anyway.

There is one thing I will miss. As my hair color fades, it turns a funky green-blonde. The color that you associate with blondes who spend too much time in chlorine. And just the other day, this happened because I didn’t realize that I’m a blonde.

Yes, I accidentally dressed like Link. And yes, it was accidental. It was the first cold morning in awhile, so I grabbed my green hoodie. Then, I didn’t like the way my hair dried, so I put on the hat. Hours later, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a windshield (yes, I am so vain I think that song is about me) and realized that I looked like Link.

And I will indeed miss that. I haven’t made the appointment yet, but before Halloween, I’ll be back to dark hair. (I will admit, part of me is terrified that I’ll suddenly become invisible- that my hair color was what brought you dear people to this blog. But that’s just the anxiety talking. I’m acknowledging it, and promptly moving on.)

Today’s one of the first days that feels like fall. A storm system is blowing through LA today, and temperatures are in the mid to upper 60′s. After two months of 90 degree weather, it’s beautiful.

Not only that, but this storm happens to have the possibility of thunder, which means it’s blustery, too.

It was also the Little Kidlet’s parent teacher conference, and we found ourselves parked by a train track enjoying some fries before that. As he played with my phone, I looked up at the sky.

I saw some seagulls circling, and then saw some larger birds gliding. Curious if they were hawks or vultures, I kept watching. And as I watched I realized, I’d only seen a small part of the birds circling. The dozen gulls? It was more like a hundred in total. There were at least 8 or 9 vultures (and they were definitely vultures), when I’d originally only seen three.

I couldn’t figure out why there were so many birds (since they weren’t circling over carrion). Then I realized it. They were riding all the streams from the windy weather. Letting it take them up and down, the way that hang gliders do. I watched them for five minutes, and tried to record them on video (unfortunately they were too high up for the camera to catch them). They started low and found the currents that would take them higher, until finally they were so high they vanished into the clouds.

It was like watching a snowglobe, the way the glitter falls and circulates up and down, but with birds. Breathtaking.

And as a bonus, as we were getting ready to leave I saw some red tailed hawks gliding by, too!

(Days like this make me realize that I need to get a scope for my phone. Or invest in a camera that I can hook up some serious lenses to.)

The Little Kidlet has a lot of food allergies, and in our very crowded house (we live with my in-laws, which also includes TheBoy’s two adult brothers) LK and I are the only one with food issues- and mine is that I’m allergic to cow’s milk products.

In the last three years, I could count the cross contamination issues we’ve had on one hand. Which all things considered, is pretty darn good.

I thought I’d share some of the things that worked for us- just in case you have someone over with food allergies, and weren’t sure how to keep cross-contamination from happening. Or in case you’re dealing with some new food allergies.

Do you need two sets of things?

Yes, and no. You don’t need to buy a new set of cookware- most pans aren’t porous, so you can simply clean them well (more on that later) and things should be fine. The exception for this is cast iron. It IS a porous pan, meaning it absorbs little bits and pieces of everything you’ve cooked before. I use a cast iron skillet for LK- but it was one that I bought new and seasoned myself so that there wouldn’t be any cross-contamination. And I don’t make anything in it that he can’t have.

Other common porous items in the kitchen are wooden & plastic utensils. I have my own set of wooden spoons, rubber spatulas and plastic spatulas. I also have my own wooden cutting board that we keep away from the main work area (and a couple of plastic ones that are just for his food). I also keep a separate set of plastic storage containers for LK’s food. It’s a different brand from the rubbermaid containers we use, so it sticks out. And I’ve managed to get everything in green- from his lunch containers to the storage boxes (even the plastic serving spoons I use on holidays). It makes it easier to identify.

But surely, with cooking there’s bound to be accidents. I usually make the Little Kidlet’s food first, so that I know the kitchen is clean, and then put it somewhere covered to keep it warm. So far, this has kept us from making a lot of accidents.

Now, cleaning. Before I bake, I clean off countertops using paper towels, so that I can throw them away. Cloth towels are used mostly for drying hands or cleaning up spills (and I do keep a separate set for when I’m making LK’s food). I keep an extra set of sponges and try to wash LK’s cookware using those instead of the sponges that clean everything else. And if I can, I wash his plates & pans in their own batch, instead of with everyone else’s dishes.

We’re lucky- the Little Kidlet’s reactions are limited to when he eats food he’s allergic to. I know a lot of people who can’t even be in the same room as a plate of food they’re allergic to (of course, I’m part of communities for people with multiple allergies, so my pool of people I know has a lot more people with allergies than you likely do).

I also own a label maker and label all the storage containers, just in case.

So these are my helpful hints. For those with food allergies and share a kitchen with those who don’t- what do you do?