Right before my 32nd birthday, I cut off several inches of hair and had it dyed teal.
It was liberating in so many ways. All eyes were on me, so I had to just be me. There was nowhere to hide.
Because dear readers, I can’t speak for other shades, but blue-green is really high maintenance. I had to switch to washing my hair with cold water, using a shampoo with dye mixed in to help refresh the color, and do regular touch ups.
And as much as I love it, this has been an exhausting year for reasons I can’t exactly get into here on the blog. I’ll just say it’s been a tough six months for someone dear to me, so I’ve spent a lot of time and energy supporting them. And I’d rather spend my time supporting them than touching up my hair color.
Not to mention that in this exhausting year, I’ve put myself out here with more than just my hair color. I’ve pushed forward to talk regularly with more of the people I really admire, used my blogs to speak up about social issues, or even just to talk about a mismanaged convention. I’ve tried to make sure that you knew the real me.
I don’t need the vivid hair anymore. I don’t think there’s any risk of me hiding- at least not here on the internet (I’m still pushing myself out in the real world). As my mom told me when I told her I was thinking about going back to brown, I found my “inner green.” Which is what mattered, anyway.
There is one thing I will miss. As my hair color fades, it turns a funky green-blonde. The color that you associate with blondes who spend too much time in chlorine. And just the other day, this happened because I didn’t realize that I’m a blonde.
Yes, I accidentally dressed like Link. And yes, it was accidental. It was the first cold morning in awhile, so I grabbed my green hoodie. Then, I didn’t like the way my hair dried, so I put on the hat. Hours later, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a windshield (yes, I am so vain I think that song is about me) and realized that I looked like Link.
And I will indeed miss that. I haven’t made the appointment yet, but before Halloween, I’ll be back to dark hair. (I will admit, part of me is terrified that I’ll suddenly become invisible- that my hair color was what brought you dear people to this blog. But that’s just the anxiety talking. I’m acknowledging it, and promptly moving on.)