What’s your favorite color?

by , under Mom, personal

“What’s your favorite color,” the Little Kidlet asked me as he sat on the toilet. (We have a lot of conversations while he’s trying to go)


“Not pink?” I suppose I made a weird face, because immediately he looked ashamed and said, “I said something wrong, didn’t I?”

As a little girl, I liked pink. I still do, but it isn’t my favorite color. I mostly wear black and the one color that’s prevalent is teal. I tend to buy accessories with it without even thinking. Heck, I dyed my hair teal.

But pink? I have some obnoxious running socks in hot pink, and a sports bra. But I also have socks in neon green and purple. And another sports bra in light blue. I don’t really have much of anything that’s pink at all.

So I took a deep breath. “Why do you think my favorite color is pink?”

“Because pink is a girl color.”

From there I had the usual conversation about how colors are colors. There aren’t any colors that are boy colors or girl colors. Yes, the usual conversation. It’s one I’ve had with his older brother, countless times.

My little Ninja Turtle. He now has a mask, and a katana.

And you want to know why? It isn’t because of anything they’re taught at school, or anything they’ve learned from their family. I wouldn’t even say it’s because of their friends at school- I’ve met a lot of the kids they know. The Oldest Kidlet plays Star Wars with Little Geek Girl (whose favorite color is “leopard print”). The Little Kidlet is fine with playing house with one of the girls in his class, so long as he gets to be the Ninja Turtle.

I feel comfortable saying that it’s because of the commercials they see. Toys with girls in the commercials? Everything is pink and purple. Anything with boys uses the rest of the color spectrum. And despite all my hard work to teach them that you can play with whatever toy you want, that Star Wars and other geeky things are for girls too (that one was easy since I like Star Wars, Pirates, LEGOs and video games) and that boys like My Little Pony, too… those damn commercials undo all the work that I do.

I see so many people shrug off complaints about gender bias in children’s advertising- and complaints about how deeply it affects younger children, too. But when you look at my two boys- at five and nearly seven, and they know all the names of Disney Channel shows that they don’t watch but see ads for between the shows we do watch, as well as brand names and jingles for about a dozen toys we’ve never owned… it works. It does affect them.

And yes, I am fighting it all the way.

How do you handle conversations about gender roles with your kids?

  • My favorite color is purple. Sometimes blue, but most often purple. I was DETERMINED not to be like the other girls and like pink. I still don’t. I think it’s a pansy color and I refuse to wear it. Not to mention that it looks like crap on me anyways!

    I don’t yet know how I’m going to handle gender roles with my kid and it’s not something I have to worry about yet. My PLAN is to be as open as possible and as accepting as I can, and teach my kid to do the same. But we all know what happens to plans…. 🙂 I have a backup plan, though. I am going to send my son to my best friend for all his “alternative lifestyle” questions. She’s well-versed and more educated than I am.

  • My daughter definitely went through a pink phase, but now, she won’t wear anything pink. In fact, at her request, we retired the pink bedding she had picked out when she was younger and replaced it with Avengers sheets.
    She likes to paint her nails and stuff like that, but she rarely does other “girly” stuff. In fact, she had to tell her relatives that she loves reading, but “Please! No girls with horses books.”

  • For me, it’s just been a lot of discussion. I led by example- they know what a geek I am, and when they question it in other kids, we talk about it. (It’s funny, I wore pink as a kid, but around 4th grade – I gravitated towards black. I even wore ties in middle school and had a short hair cut.)

    I LOVE your backup plan!

  • I love it!