Can we all just stop being jerks?

by , under Geek, personal, Pirate

I was going to blog about my boys’ birthday party, but I haven’t collaged the pictures yet. So, that’ll be tomorrow.

My facebook feed is still full of people bitter that Romney wasn’t elected, spreading memes about what a horrible person Obama is. I’m slowly unfriending the people who don’t seem to care that these memes are based on lies. I just can’t tolerate that level of anger over something that happens ever four years.

With this election, I’ve been hoping that we could realize that the problem wasn’t necessarily the candidates- it’s the parties. Both are trying to edge further and further from the center, to the point where they’re satisfied with not getting anything accomplished in Congress. We need to come towards the middle to try to resolve the issues with the economy. Pulling apart just makes room for the crazies to come out (and for every honest Republican I know- you need to kick the fringe out. Speak up and say that you believe in equality. That you won’t stand for racism. That you believe in bi-partisanship. When you say nothing, you become part of the problem).

Next up, the latest “geek girls are evil” conversation comes from Tony Harris with a rant about female cosplayers being evil attention whores who are taking advantage of good, honest nerds. I say the latest because these things pop up every month like clockwork.

What people are interested in has nothing to do with gender or appearance. So you can’t guess based on it.

And I’m sick and tired of this continued assumption of Woman as Destroyer. That somehow we are there to destroy the very core of nerddom by being there. He says he sees women rejecting nerds while demanding their attention? I see men who are confused by what messages they see in comic books. They assume that women who dress as the scantily clad characters in comic books are there to be ogled (since that’s primarily their function in comic books) and treat women as objects, not people. And shockingly, the women are upset that they aren’t being treated as human beings.

I’m frustrated by the non-zero % of men & girls stick up for the people who post these thing, implying that women were asking for it by dressing scantily and that if you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t be there. (This is also the same argument that male skeptics have used to push out prominent female skeptics who tried to shine a light on the misogyny they’ve experienced. Not to mention the argument that rapists use to try to place the blame on their victims.)

If that weren’t enough, Mommyish.com posted a non-story about Taylor Swift not living up to her own example of being a strong female by saying she wants to be a 1950s housewife and let the man lead in her life. Which is weird. While she did say she didn’t want to be a feminist in an interview, they didn’t simply point out that you can be a feminist and be a stay at home mom, or let the man be the head of the house. Being a feminist is making sure that women have the choice to be what they want to be. Instead, they judged her for not being what they think she should be given her reach and wealth. (I won’t link the story, since I’m fairly certain now that it’s click bait- since I know a lot of parenting sites love to stir the whole SAHM vs working mom argument just to get page views)

At any rate… can we just stop being jerks for a couple days? People are people. We have different interests. We have the same interests. And as long as nobody’s getting hurt, we’re cool. (And in the case of the fake geek girl issues… if you perceive some slight on all women because of one woman, then the problem is with you.)

  • Robothand

    I understand that your experience is with bitter Republicans, but let’s not forget the accusations all through the campaign that Rs want to legalize rape, outlaw birth control, remove all financial regulation, and tax the poor to feed the rich–all of which were rabid, paranoid idiocy dressed as opinion and punditry. Stopping our jerkiness begins when we police our own side of the aisle, not the other side. I agree that silence equals complicity–on BOTH sides.

  • http://www.whitneydrake.com/ Whitney Drake

    Hi! I’m guessing you didn’t read all of the paragraph that followed the first one. While I was specifically referring to the bitter Republicans, I wasn’t all that impressed by either party’s behavior (see the we need to come towards the middle to fix the country- frankly I think the jerkiness stops when we start seeing ourselves as people again, not as Republicans or Democrats).