Coping with the Loss

by , under Mom, personal, Pirate

Yesterday I’d planned on posting my weekly link post. But I just couldn’t bring myself to post anything. I’d been offline most of the morning because of a doctor’s visit (I haven’t been feeling well) and it wasn’t until I was picking up the Oldest Kidlet that I even checked my phone.

And while I stood there in the cold, watching the Little Kidlet play in the kindergarten play yard, I found out about the shooting in Newtown, CT. I won’t link to stories in case you haven’t heard. All you need to know is that 20 year old man shot and killed his mother at home, then went to an elementary school and opened fire. In Newton, there were plenty of parents who had sent their kids to school, and probably had Christmas gifts (or Hanukkah gifts) ready for them, and now there’s nobody to open them.

I can’t imagine that sorrow. I know that it’s the sort of loss that alters a parent’s life forever. That statistically, the loss of a child will end most marriages. (Of course, parents aren’t the only ones affected. It’s highly likely the first responders will have severe trauma of their own to deal with)

I hugged my boys a little more often yesterday.

While I’m not sure we’re ready to talk about what happened yesterday (the boys and I), I do know that when the time comes I’m going to follow Mr. Rogers’ lead:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

I don’t want to watch the media coverage. I’ve seen these tragedies covered, and it seems as though they follow the same template. Especially after watching this video, I’ve been wondering if the media is as much at fault as gun control laws (you will never convince me that there’s any reason to own an assault rifle).

I know that the human instinct is to want to understand why these things happen… 24/7 coverage isn’t the answer. Especially not if you’re going to put children who’ve just been through a traumatic event on television.

Just try to be better, world. That’s all I ask. Be more compassionate.

  • http://twitter.com/tigger62077 Jennifer Wamsley

    For a bit I felt horrible for thinking “How many of these parents had presents wrapped? How many children lost their siblings? How many of these parents tried for years, did thousands and thousands of dollars worth of treatment to have one child, only to lose said child in this manner? How do you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever holiday your particular religion/spiritualness celebrates at this point?” And then…I noticed that these thoughts were creeping up elsewhere and I didn’t feel so horrible. I am so very glad, though, that The Boy isn’t old enough to see any of this. I don’t have to explain this to him. I didn’t have to drop him off anywhere yesterday – he was all mine, and even if he didn’t understand why mama was crying, he was still there to give baby hugs.