January 26, 2014

Find a Better Idol.

I’m almost 34. I keep accidentally saying I’m 34 already.

This isn’t a post about getting older. It’s actually about being young, to be honest. I remember being young and crushing on an actor or singer, thinking they were perfect and good.

But that was back in the 90s, before the internet (I know, I remember life before the internet, and the early days of the internet). Back before the 24/7 news cycle, where it was possible for a celebrity to have a personal life that different from their public persona. When it was utterly shocking when River Phoenix died of a drug overdose- because that stuff just didn’t happen.

Yes, this post is about Justin Bieber. And R. Kelly. And Chris Brown. Actually it’s more to the girls who keep standing behind them.

I was once in your place, and live and died by the music I listened to. I crushed on the trumpet player in this local swing band, even though he was in his early 20s and I was barely 16 when I started going to all their concerts. I had no idea what this guy was like, but in my head he was perfect.

But none of these musicians are perfect. Chris Brown has a history of anger issues and violence – but his fans not only stood beside him, but blamed Rihanna. R. Kelly has a long history of sex with underaged girls, who by the law are not old enough to give their consent. He writes about women as objects, and women continue to support him, and insult the girls who have spoken up.

Justin Bieber, is certainly the least offensive of this list, because he’s an immature little boy pretending to be a man. He moved into an exclusive gated community and has proceeded to antagonize the families that live there already. He egged his neighbor’s house. Oh, and he drag raced while under the influence of alcohol and prescription drugs.

You can try to say that fame is difficult. It is, I’m never going to deny that. But for every Lindsay Lohan, you have plenty of singers/actors who make that transition from teen star to adult without winding up making a fool of themselves daily on TMZ. You can try to excuse his age, but honestly? You’re just insulting every 18 or 19 year old out there who makes good decisions. His stupidity and recklessness has nothing to do with his age, just his decisions.

Notice, I’m not even touching any issues of addiction. Because realistically, addiction is an illness, not a weakness of character. So I’m not going to judge anyone for struggling with that.

But my real point is that you as a fan deserve better. You deserve a singer who respects his fans enough to not do something as monumentally reckless as drag racing while drunk. You deserve someone to crush on that actually lives up to your fantasy.

You don’t have to settle. That’s probably one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life. Just because a guy is cute doesn’t mean he’s worth it. And there is no amount of jackass behavior that is worth it either. Doesn’t matter if you’re talking about a pop idol or a guy you want to date. Anyone who gets behind the wheel of a car while drunk isn’t worth your time. Because they don’t think that other people’s lives are more valuable than their own.

End rant.

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