Geek. Pirate. Mom

Once upon a time, three years ago, to be precise. The Oldest Kidlet was in preschool and was obsessed with pirates. He dressed like a pirate for Halloween (in a costume sewn by yours truly). When asked how he knew as much as he did, he told his friends that I’d taught him. Because I know everything about pirates.

That was the year I bought my thigh high boots. I also have a piece of cursed Aztec gold from POTC as a keychain on my key ring.

Within a week, the kids at the preschool were convinced that I was a pirate. Not a pirate expert, but secretly a pirate. They’d ask if I had a sword. I do! They’d ask if I had a compass. I do. They were disappointed I didn’t have a monkey or a ship. I told them that it was a tough market to keep a crew and a tall ship. It sounded important enough that they didn’t ask about the ship anymore.

So today, I was volunteering in the Little Kidlet’s kindergarten class. His teacher was reading to the kids, table by table- so I was keeping an eye on the other tables. That’s when I heard this from LK’s table. “Who would win in a fight,” said one little boy. “A werewolf or a whale shark.” A second little boy considered this. “Can werewolves swim?” My son, bless him, shook his head. “Whale sharks are big, but they aren’t mean. My brother knows all about them. You could ask my mom about werewolves. She knows about them, too.” The entire table turned to look at me. But nobody came over to ask.

Until I had LK at my table so that we could go over flashcards, and as we finished, he started to get a serious look on his face. “Can werewolves swim?” (I should point out that he addressed me the way that his teacher introduces me – because when I’m there, I’m technically not ‘Mom’.)

“Can all people swim?”

“No,” he said. “Some people don’t know how.”

“Then I’m guessing some werewolves can swim, some can’t.”

“Who would win?”

I leaned over. “I’m guessing the werewolf. Unless it didn’t have a boat and had to swim out to find the whale shark. It’d probably be too tired to do much of anything.”

“I’m going to tell them that.” He sad down in his seat. “My mom said that werewolves are like people, so some can swim and some can’t. I told you she knows things.”

“How does she know them?”

“I dunno.”

How long do you think until they’ve decided that either I am a werewolf or that I’m married to one?

And a Happy Birthday to the Oldest Kidlet, who has amused us all with the ways he’s responded to Happy Birthday.

When I said it to him, he was still in bed, playing the new Legend of Zelda game on his 3DS. He looked at me, somewhat sleepily. “Happy Birthday to you,” he said.

“Babe, that’s not how that works. It’s just your birthday.”

“Oh, right.”

Then when my mom said it about 15 minutes later, he said, “Oh yeah.”

And 10 minutes after that when my dad said it, Oldest Kidlet looked up and said, “Why did you kiss me?”

Then last but not least, when TheBoy woke up and said it to him, he said “Happy Birthday…. to me.” Yes, he almost said the exact same thing he said to me, but caught himself. Ridiculous kid.

Last night, we prepared the turkey. We’re in Florida right now, staying with my parents. (Thieves beware, the only reason I’m posting this now is that we live with my in-laws, and they’re home. I live in the house that’s never empty) But since my mom’s a vegetarian, and my dad isn’t- we realized it’d be pretty silly to leave a ton of turkey leftovers. There’s only so much turkey one man can eat. We also made mashed potatoes last night.

Today we’ll be doing a pork tenderloin, sweet potatoes, stuffing- and pulling out yesterday’s leftovers. My mom’s having shrimp and mahi mahi. Should be delicious. I’m also trying to make a mushroom gravy so that everyone can have it.

But it’s a great trip so far. I get to cook in my mom’s brand new kitchen (as in, they hooked up the stove on Tuesday), and do what my mom and I do best- goof off in the kitchen together.

Here’s to hoping that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving (for those in the States – I wish anyone else a happy Thursday).

What are you enjoying today?

(I’m 90% sure I’ve already used ‘This is Halloween’ as a post title)

I really don’t have much to say, other than I’m in the midst of a lot of things. With Halloween on Thursday, I’ve got character parades to prepare for and a class Halloween Party to supervise.

I love the way that the elementary school handles the costume parade. In order to walk in it, the students have to bring a book that relates to their costume- they mention going to the public library or school library if they can’t find a book. Two years back, the Oldest Kidlet brought a book on Pirates (we have a plethora of those). Last year, he brought a Spider-man comic book. This year, he’s taking a book for Thor: The Dark World. Little Kidlet is bringing a child’s illustrated encyclopedia of Marvel Superheroes. I really should have anticipated it being harder to find Captain America since his movie isn’t coming out soon.

But I really do like the idea- it gets kids reading, and that’s always a good thing.

And one of the few things I promised LK’s teacher was that I’d always volunteer during the kindergarten class parties.

We went to a Halloween Party last weekend, and I have to share my two favorite Avengers. The original plan was for TheBoy and I to dress up, but I couldn’t figure out Loki’s horns, so I didn’t go for it. I wore my Abaddon costume instead. And TheBoy was going to dress as Tony Stark (using ThinkGeek’s shirt), but it didn’t get here in time. In typical fashion, the Little Kidlet went home early (he’s not much of a party animal) and we had to tear his big brother away.

So far as the rest of the week goes, we’re going to carve pumpkins today… so I’m sure I’ll have more pictures of the week.

What are your plans for Halloween? Any traditions?

It’s not uncommon for someone to show up at the door trying to sell something. The meat guy who wants to unload steaks (I could barely keep a straight face while typing that, sorry). The meal delivery guy or CSA representative looking to sign up people while they’re in the neighborhood.

Or apparently some landscaper looking to use up the rest of the lawn stuff they mixed up for someone else’s yard.

Which is who came to the door yesterday. We had the front door open a crack and the kids informed me that someone was there (our doorbell is broken). So I went over, looked at the guy and glared.

Look of Death glared. Derek Hale School of Brooding Werewolf Glare.

Because he was wearing the shirt on the left.

And while I’m a big fan of novelty tees (I’m wearing my M*A*S*H shirt today, and I do actually own a shirt with 867-5309 on it), there’s a little thing called common sense.

If you’re trying to convince a total stranger to fork over money so you can put crap on their lawn, wouldn’t you try to wear a shirt that might not offend them?

Anyways, Lawn!Guy was sufficiently cowed by my Look of Death and didn’t seem to surprised when I said, “Not interested” and slammed the front door on him.

As soon as I shut the door, the Oldest Kidlet asked why he was wearing a shirt that said “I <3 Hot Moms." So I explained that sometimes hot is a synonym for attractive.

Oldest Kidlet paused, then looked up at me. I braced myself for some ridiculous comment. But he just looked thoughtful. "But why would he wear that? Doesn't he know that looks aren't everything?"

And just like that, everything was better. Because even though that jerk didn't realize how stupid his clothing choice was- my 7 year old gets it. So I’ve done something right.

I know that the Hitchhiker’s Guide quote is about not being able to get the hang of Thursdays, but Tuesdays are killer around here.

This morning, TheBoy and I got into a fight. He’s my soulmate, but occasionally, he can be an asshole. On occasion, I can be an dick. It’s a fact. (I’m sure my mom is livid I’m swearing, but it’s true) Not really related to the argument, but his car wouldn’t start so he was home for a bit of the morning. Also, the fight ended and we’ve moved beyond it, so that’s all you get about the fight.

Because I knew TheBoy was waiting for AAA to show up and he hadn’t had any coffee, I swung by the Starbucks near us to pick up a cup for him (and a chai and croissant for me). Obviously, I wasn’t in the best of moods, and the middle-aged woman ahead of me turned. “Oh, you should smile. You’ll look so much prettier if you do.”

And I admit, I saw red when she said it. And I sort of mentally pulled a Mrs White:

But don’t worry! I didn’t actually do anything. I just gave her the Look of Doom, smiled politely to the two Sheriff’s Deputies that were watching our conversation and grabbed my drinks.

The day has recovered. It took 3 things. Bohemian Rhapsody played on Sirius radio. I bought Tempura shrimp for lunch. And I found out that one of my favorite characters will be back as they were in previous seasons for Supernatural. Oh, 4 things. I introduced TheBoy to Teen Wolf.

Now, TheBoy’s car. I have no idea what’s wrong with it (haven’t heard back from the shop yet), but the Kidlets are worrying that we’ll need to get a new car (unlikely). Why? The Oldest Kidlet is very much attached to the Zelda decal on his back window.

Of course, explaining that I could just get him one at the next convention I went to led to an in depth description of what comic book conventions are, and having to justify why we haven’t brought them yet. The idea that you walk around even more than you do at Disneyland made it okay. That’s a comparison they easily understand.

But they did make me promise to take them to one when they’re older.

Tuesdays.

The End of Summer, that is.

But Whitney, you ask. How could it possibly be the end of summer? Well, the Kidlets start school this week, so… end of summer.

To commemorate it, we got a hotel room down in Anaheim, and spent the weekend there.

It was a relaxed weekend. The Oldest Kidlet (and by extension TheBoy) spent most of Saturday at the pool, while the Little Kidlet spent most of the vacation glued to my side. He’s actually still glued to my side. It seems like every couple hours he’s finding a reason to burrow in under my arm and curl up next to me. Part wolf, or something.

We did go to Disneyland (mostly California Adventure) on Sunday, and spent a good long while at the Wilderness Explorer’s Redwood Challenge Trail. If you have kids 12 and under, I recommend it. They give the kids a map to “earn badges” – there are 6 challenges (running, climbing, going into dark caves) and if you complete it, you scratch off something on the map to reveal the badges. When you get all 6, you get a Wilderness Explorer sticker. Which was more than enough to motivate the kids to try everything- though I had to go in the cave for LK. No weird visions of the Force, it was a little disappointing.

This summer, though. This summer was pretty awesome. The Kidlets learned to swim. I discovered that the Little Kidlet likes to curl up in my bed in the morning, like a little wolf (I have wolves on the brain, so sue me). We played with LEGO, passed a bunch of levels of Angry Birds, and watched The Hobbit together.

I do think I’m going to miss this summer.

Memorial Day always seems to be the first weekend of summer, even though the Oldest Kidlet still has a couple weeks left of his school year.

And ours was packed. There was a graduation party for Brother-in-law’s girlfriend. TheBoy and I went to a Dodgers game. And yesterday, the boys went across the street and ran through the sprinklers with a neighbor.

While I was talking with my neighbor, we started to talk about how kids don’t play the way you used to. (Yes, I know, I was talking with someone. I’m proud of me, too) And it’s true. When I was a kid, it was totally normal to shove your kids outside so that they could run around the neighborhood as a pack. My sister and I weren’t all that old and we’d ride around in front of our house (we lived in a condo development where there was an oval sidewalk with a big grassy area- so we would just ride in an oval for hours). By the time we were in fourth and fifth grade, we were spending all our time in the alley playing with the other kids (including the bicycle rodeo where we tried to knock over a GIANT pylon). Even when I was in high school and was the oldest kid in our new neighborhood, we had giant water fights.

You don’t see it all that often these days, though. When the neighbor showed up at the door to ask if the Oldest Kidlet could come over and play, I did a double take. People make play dates now (how I loathe the term) instead of just asking if kids can come over. It’s all structured and boring. This were little kids running through a sprinkler and then shooting each other with a water gun.

And it was fantastic, watching the kids play the way that I used to- and both of the boys are excited at the prospect of a summer filled with days like that.

So here’s to the lazy days of summer!

Being a mother has become a lesson in flexibility. When I was younger, plans were plans. If they fell through, I would sulk. And now? Well, to me life is like the tide, things come and go and the shoreline of my life constantly changes.

No, really.

It sounds like one of those insane motivational posters, but it’s true. I’ve had to anticipate and handle anything that gets thrown my way.

Last weekend, we decided to take the Kidlets to Disneyland, and headed out. The Little Kidlet wasn’t very enthused (which was odd), but it was a million degrees outside (90) and we thought nothing of it.

We went on Star Tours, we went to Innoventions to see the Iron Man 3 display (where I fangirled long enough to embarrass my boys, who clearly weren’t as excited about the suits as I was) and then we realized that the Little Kidlet was warm. In the air conditioned comfort of Innoventions, he was actually hot. So we stopped by First Aid (side note: To all parents, learn where First Aid is at Disneyland. Right next to it is the Infant Care center, where you can feed/nurse/change babies, and they even have small toilets for kids just starting potty traiing) where they took his temperature and discovered he had a fever of 101.6.

So they gave us a dose of Tylenol and we came home. The children were bitterly disappointed, and we bribed them with toys (LK now owns a Loki action figure, and I had everything nothing to do with that decision).

This isn’t the first time we’ve had to do something similar. A couple years ago we had a room at the Disneyland Hotel for a night before we headed out to Tucson to visit family, and the Oldest Kidlet spiked a fever and started throwing up. We gave him medicine and spent the entire day in the hotel room.

And while I know some people would have been upset at spending that sort of money, we just made the most of it- and we still had a great time. (He was also 100% better by the time we started the road trip. Kids are weird that way)

I’ve decided that motherhood has made me a much better strategist. I not only have to prepare for all the common things (the backpack we take out has a first aid kit in it, LK’s allergy stuff and a bottle of Tylenol, now), but I have to figure out how to adapt to the bigger curveballs. So look out world. Don’t mess with me, I will kick the ass of whatever you throw at me.

Hey! Listen!

Every day, I share weird anecdotes and comments about the kidlets being geeklings. They really do take after me, in that they love video games, Star Wars, comic book characters (though in their animated adventures), and Ninja Turtles!

But they also get just as obsessed about things as I do. (Whitney get obsessed? Riiiiigggghhhhtttt.)

Which means that last night, as the kidlets brushed their teeth, I answered questions about why Ganondorf wanted the Triforce. Or while I was packing their lunch, I was quizzed about where Navi went after Ocarina of Time ended. On the road to school, the Oldest Kidlet asked me whether or not Link being sent back to his original timeline when he first met Zelda actually stopped Ganondorf at all- since they killed Ganondorf in the future… (which by the way, I’ve always wondered- and given their love of Back to the Future, they were bound to actually think about the whole time travel element)

It’s Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 24/7 in this house. And I’m exhausted.

I don’t imagine it will help if they discover the sketches I made of Nabooru or Malon in my sketchbook. Or that I want to cosplay as Sheik or Link (I’m not sure which- leaning towards Sheik).

At any rate, will someone else answer their questions for me? At least until they’ve picked a new obsession? As much as I love Legend of Zelda, I just need a tiny break from Hyrule.

I know. You’re thinking (especially if you watched yesterday’s Vlog) that I’ve lost my mind.

Shortly after Halloween, the Little Kidlet and the Oldest Kidlet announced that this year they wanted to go as Boba Fett (LK) and a Stormtrooper (OK). Considering it’s my year to make costumes, I was already looking forward to the challenge of using craft foam to sculpt some armor for them. But I prepared myself for them to inevitably pick something else.

On Wednesday, I was in the middle of putting makeup on when the Little Kidlet burst into my room. “Iron Man, Mommy! For Halloween, I want to be Iron Man!”

Well, I told myself, we could buy the mask and then I could try to make the armor. Still ridiculously early to commit to a costume, but something I could still plan.

When I picked him up from school that day, he was bouncing up and down. “Mommy! I’m going to be Captain America for Halloween.”

I smiled, nodded and told him that whatever he decided, it’d be fine.

As we pulled up to the house, the Little Kidlet shouted, “I think I want to be Thor for Halloween.”

As I unbuckled him from the carseat, I smiled. “Do you really want to be any of those for Halloween or do you just want me to get you the Avengers costumes?”

“No,” he said, a little too loudly. “NO. no. Nooooo.” While he’s the only one of the kids who will lie, at least it’s obvious when he does.

I’m wondering if he’ll ask to be Hawkeye, too. Meanwhile, I think it’s time that we get him some of the toy props so that he can pretend to be whoever he wants.

Meanwhile, not a peep from the Oldest Kidlet. I think he’s just waiting for his little brother to pick something, so he can get a costume related to it.

To those who watched my vlog… I will answer one question: YES, that is what I’m really like.

Also: It it a parenting fact that if you buy popsicles for your kids because it’s suddenly as hot as the sun, that they will take two bites and decide they don’t want them.