Geek. Pirate. Mom

Oh dear. Everything seems to be happening on St Patrick’s Day. I’ll be at Wondercon that day, and already I’ve been invited to a baby shower and a birthday party. Not to mention that I’m missing Sportive Tricks in Long Beach. (Go, Southern California people, go!)

But I’m going to Wondercon. I’m going to make myself a Sith costume and I’m debating whether to go with a classic cloak or something a little less traditional.

Though that reminds me- I need to make a Vader costume for someone. Because this (as my friends pointed out) screams Casual Day on the Death Star.

It is official. The Little Kidlet has seen all of the original Star Wars trilogy. I’m still not entirely sure that he heard that Vader is Luke’s father… he might have been too busy lightsaber dueling with an invisible opponent.

He really did enjoy Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, though. He cheered when Palpatine was thrown into the reactor shaft. He had no real reaction to the Ewoks, but he did grab just about any toy and pretend they were speeder bikes.

His big brother was more interested in getting some computer time, since he knew he wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to play his roller coaster building program this week. Though he did manage to come into the end of Return of the Jedi (after missing all of ESB) and still miss that Vader was Luke’s father. He did know that Vader turned good at the end, but missed the rest. We’ll try again this week, I think.

I don’t think I ever really explained why I’ve been so eager to make sure both boys saw the original trilogy. Aside from the fact that I’m a big Star Wars fan, I had a feeling that they’d enjoy the movies as well as Episode One (TheBoy and I agreed that Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith are just too dark for the boys). And come on- lightsabers are just fun.

But really, I wanted my boys to have the chance to experience one of the great surprise twists of the movie world. They’re still young enough that they didn’t actually know who Darth Vader is, especially since they mostly played with each other and I’ve sworn my family and the in-laws not to spoil them.

Why? It was something that I didn’t get to have. Empire Strikes Back was released the year I was born. I literally grew up with kids who had older siblings who just told them that Vader was Luke’s father. I hadn’t even seen the movie yet and exactly how James Earl Jones said it.

I know lots of people who started their kids watching the Star Wars movies with The Phantom Menace, since it’s now the starting point of the Star Wars trilogy. But I would argue that the prequels are only effective if you’ve already seen the original trilogy. You get the added dimension of knowing that this is a tragic tale from the start. You know that Anakin is going to turn to the Dark Side and that Obi-Wan didn’t see it coming. You know that the Republic will fail. And you get to see the hints of what’s to come.

I did go see The Phantom Menace in 3D with TheBoy weekend before last. I know, many people will say that I’m simply enabling George Lucas- but really, the Star Wars movies are meant to be seen on the big screen. And Phantom Menace was a lovely 3D conversion. It was done to be immersive (more so than say Alice in Wonderland, which was also a nicely done 3D conversion… but pretty pointless in the end), and the podrace and lightsaber duel/triad was pretty dang spectacular.

No, Jar Jar doesn’t improve with age. There were a lot of twenty-somethings in the theater with us, and I was practically appalled by how much they laughed at Jar Jar. But then, I see people my age and how fond they are of Ewoks… and it’s basically the same thing. When you see it as a kid, it grows on you. (Unless you’re me. I never liked Ewoks. They had these terrifyingly large soulless eyes. I was more a droid girl from the start)

For goodness sake, they wanted to EAT Luke & Han.

I’ve gotten a little off track, but I’m looking forward to when the original trilogy is back in theaters, so I can take the kidlets to see Star Wars as it was meant to be seen. On a giant screen.

As I’m sure most Star Wars fans have heard, George Lucas did an interview that tried to clarify why he made Greedo shoot first in the Special Edition of Star Wars. In short, he never intended it to look like Han shot first. It was always supposed to be Greedo. He went on to say that he didn’t understand why people wanted Han to be a cold blooded killer.

George- may I call you that? George, it’s really quite simple. Nobody thought that Han was a cold-blooded killer. But Han shooting first was an important step in establishing the world at large.

It reinforces that it’s a dangerous part of space. Han knows that unless he shoots Greedo, Greedo will kill him. Which as we later see, isn’t exactly something you want to happen. It’s completely justifiable- he’s doing it to survive.

He’s a survivor, plain and simple. Leia proclaims him to be quite the mercenary, when really, Han Solo is just a guy who’s trying to do what he enjoys and not die- which at the moment involves paying Jabba a lot of money. And frankly, it adds a bit of mystery to Han’s actions. Will he stay with the Rebel Alliance and do the right thing? Or will he cut and run? Being unsure of who Han is in the beginning is why it’s such a victory when Han comes back at the end and saves the day- he’s becoming the guy we always hoped he was deep down.

If it’s really that Han shoots Greedo after Greedo shoots him, then it takes a bit of the bite out of who he is.

Frankly, Han being Han is an important part of getting the audience into the story. Luke sees the world as black and wide and is the most naive kid you will ever meet. Honestly, he’s lived Tatooine on his entire life and Owen never told him how to act if he meets an unsavory crowd? Crazy. Leia is all about doing the right thing. But she’s also wealthy- and as TheBoy said when I was discussing this with him, when you’re wealthy, you can afford to have morals. Han obviously lives a life filled with shades of gray. While this is Luke’s story, Han’s the one we relate to.

Ignoring how this affects Han, but it makes Greedo just another bad guy in Star Wars who can’t shoot- because frankly, I thought the reason his shot went wide was because Han shot him. Seriously, George. Stormtroopers have lousy aim. Paragons of the Empire, and they can’t shoot a cluster of beings in an empty docking bay. But they’re at least a distance away from them. Greedo was right across the table and couldn’t hit Han? Jeez.

I think this was a good talk, George. Maybe next time you can tell me why you like to kill off interesting characters.

This week, I saw two things that made me wonder how we’re raising our kids these days… and why we haven’t come further. First was an old advice column from 2002 on Dr. Phil’s website.

In the column, a woman asked for advice about her 5 year old boy who had two older sisters and preferred to play with “girl toys” and wanted to wear girl clothes. The page is making the rounds of LGBT blogs, who are rightly concerned by Dr. Phil’s attitude. While he says that it could just be a phase, and clearly isn’t an indicator that her son is gay (which by the way, the mother never seemed to have mentioned). But he tells her to push the child towards boy clothes and boy toys, to direct him from anything that might confuse him.

Again, this is from 2002. It isn’t a new post, but it’s still on his blog. If he had changed his stance, then he should have removed the post, or clarified something on it. But he didn’t.

So what was the second thing? A friend of mine was lamenting that her son was being hassled about taking ballet. You know, since that’s for girls.

Can I just say once and for all, ballet is not just for girls. If it was, you wouldn’t have a Prince to attempt to save Odette in Swan Lake, a Nutcracker Prince or a Rat King. There would be no epic pas de deux filled with lifts.

My sister was a ballet dancer, and while there were rarely any boys in her classes when she was a girl, as she got older and moved up into more advanced classes… there were men. And obviously, the company she danced with was filled with them too. And you know what? Most of them were straight.

My friend’s son reminds me of a boy who lived across the street from us in high school. He was the sweetest little boy, whose greatest love was dancing. The summer my sister and I babysat him and his little sister, was a summer filled with two things- Barney and dance parties. You could put on any CD and he’d dance, dance, dance. But he loved to watch my sister dance, and tried his best to follow along. So he started to take ballet, and actually starred as Peter in a ballet of Peter and the Wolf. His dad had an issue with it.

Just so I can have it somewhere, here’s what I say to anyone when they try to say that ballet is just for girls. Ballet isn’t just for girls. It takes a great amount of strength and skill to dance the way that male dancers do- which is why a lot of professional athletes take ballet for agility (admittedly, a lot of pros turn to pilates and yoga these days). Just look at Gene Kelly, who was well versed in all sorts of dancing, but brought in ballet to many of his films. He danced with grace, but with an athleticism and masculinity that set him apart from other dancers. (No knock to Fred Astaire who seemed to glide effortlessly, but Gene Kelly made sure you knew it took a bit of effort- and it was worth every bit of it) Then look at Patrick Swayze. He grew up at his mother’s dance studio and played a lot of tough guys in Hollywood. Including a tough guy who danced in Dirty Dancing. (Exhibit A: Donald O’Connor and Gene Kelly “Moses“. Exhibit B: Donald O’Connor “Make Em Laugh” Ballet Exhibit A & B: Mikael Baryshnikov “Don Quixote” and a snippet from “White Nights“)

I get frustrated when people try to enforce gender roles. It’s deemed (mostly) acceptable if a girl is a tomboy, but weird for boys to want to do girl things. Let’s look at TheBoy and I. Yes, I am exceptionally girly. I cook, bake, sew, love make-up, jewelry and high heels. I also prefer my hair on the shorter side, really dig menswear (I even rocked a tie in the 6th grade), prefer action movies to chick flicks (though I do enjoy them), have played RPGs (the kind with dice and occasionally dungeons), love scifi, played video games (if I had more time, I still would)… oh, and I can use power tools. TheBoy? Grew up watching chick flicks and does enjoy watching them. He loves going to see plays and musicals, cooks and bakes as well, cleans… and honestly doesn’t know the difference between needle nose pliers and regular pliers.

Everywhere you seem to go on the internet, people complain about Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, who is a tomboy. She wears her hair short, dresses like a boy… and you know what? It could just be because she has two older brothers. It certainly has nothing to do with how she’s being raised, since her sister Zahara is a girly girl. And yet, you see people go on and on about how Angelina Jolie is raising her to be a lesbian… when she’s 5. (Lets not even get into the fact that you can’t make someone gay. You’re just born that way)

But that sort of attitude is everywhere. A blogger wrote about her preschooler being sneered at by mothers when he dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. Last summer, my cousin bought my boys a cold bake oven (which we couldn’t actually use the mixes, since the Little Kidlet is allergic) that was Disney Princesses oven. Purple and pink. And you know what? To those two, it didn’t matter that it was purple and pink and had all the princesses… it was just an oven. They played with it for weeks, making us little treats out of Duplos.

I hope that everyone here remembers Katie, the first grader who was bullied because she liked Star Wars and was a girl. She was told that Star Wars was for boys, and for a few weeks, legions of geek girls were out there to tell her that sci-fi wasn’t just a boy thing. When I was writing a comment on Katie’s mother’s blog about it, my oldest sat next to me and asked what I was reading. I told him the whole story. He looked at me, with the strangest look on his face. “That wasn’t nice. Don’t they know that Star Wars is cool and for everyone?” I admit, he knows I love Star Wars. So at least I know I’m teaching him that girls can like whatever they want to like.

There really aren’t many things that are girl things and boy things, at least as far as toys and past times are concerned. Can’t we just be good parents, and support our kids in what they do? So what if your son wants to learn how to bake? He might become a famous pastry chef. What if he wants to dance? Rudolf Nureyev and Mikhail Baryshnikov had to get their start somewhere. Your daughter want to be a pilot or an astronaut? Amelia Earhart and Sally Ride paved the way for other women in the skies and space.

I believe that my role as a parent is to support my child, no matter what. I’m there to keep them safe, healthy and happy. If they want to learn to use a skateboard, I’m there with the helmet, safety equipment and bandaids. If either of them want to learn how to dance, I will find them a dance studio and take them to and from class. Because that’s what you do. You support them and love them. And you teach them that there’s no shame in being themselves.

So let’s ditch the gender roles. Maybe if we do, when our kids grow up there won’t be blatant sexism and discrimination (or at least they’ll be aware of it and better prepared to deal with it than we are). That might be a bit much to hope for, but really- if we aren’t changing the way our kids see the world, how is it ever going to change?

This is a Geeky Confession post- there is something that most geeks do that drives me up the wall. Not just drives me up the wall, but makes me want to start punching people.

These days, you can’t mention liking Star Wars in a group, without at least one person using the phrase “George Lucas ruined Star Wars” or the more vulgar/offensive “George Lucas raped my childhood.” While I completely understand people not liking the prequels or not liking decisions that Lucas has made, I’m going to make this point- he didn’t ruin Star Wars.

One’s enjoyment of the Star Wars Trilogy is based on the sum of their experiences. No matter how many times he releases Star Wars for home viewing or in theaters- with a bit of tweaking each time… how does that change what you felt the first time you saw Star Wars? Does it negate the memories of every subsequent time you saw it and it made you happy? No. It’s one thing to say you didn’t like the prequels, or that you don’t like the special editions. But Lucas hasn’t ruined Star Wars.

And to those who liken it to rape? Find a new phrase. Rape is a despicable act that utterly violates the victim to the core. George Lucas could not possibly ruin your childhood to that degree. If somehow these changes have… maybe you need to see a shrink. (If you think I’m being overly sensitive, I admit, I might. But really- the weight of the phrase doesn’t fit what you’re describing)

Honestly, I get it! Not everyone liked the prequels. But they don’t negate the movies that came before it, or everything that happened before. I don’t mind talking about people’s problems with the stories or what they didn’t like. Usually you can start some great conversations about where people would have taken the prequels, or what they don’t like about George Lucas’ style as a director. But the response has become so typical that it’s more like a form of geek hipsterism, where it’s trendy to put it down.

I loved the Original Trilogy, and didn’t mind the changes to the Special Edition (except for making Greedo shoot first. That was stupid). I liked the prequels, and while there were obvious problems with the execution, I can admit that there were some problems with the original prequel too. Re-releasing them in 3D? I’m not going to complain- I enjoy the opportunity to see the movies on the big screen. If you don’t like it- don’t go.

Hey, it could be worse. He could have followed James Cameron’s path with Avatar, in which case we’d be on the 50th edition of the original trilogy with all of them available on DVD- and in just about every newspaper and magazine talking about how brilliant he is, and informing you that you can only enjoy the movie in 3D. And whining that because of the popularity of 3D movies, his movie didn’t have a chance to make even more money. For Lucas’ inability to stop tinkering with his movies, he seems like a pretty great guy.