Posted in Geek, Mom, personal, Pirate
December 5, 2013

In which I know it all.

Once upon a time, three years ago, to be precise. The Oldest Kidlet was in preschool and was obsessed with pirates. He dressed like a pirate for Halloween (in a costume sewn by yours truly). When asked how he knew as much as he did, he told his friends that I’d taught him. Because I know everything about pirates.

That was the year I bought my thigh high boots. I also have a piece of cursed Aztec gold from POTC as a keychain on my key ring.

Within a week, the kids at the preschool were convinced that I was a pirate. Not a pirate expert, but secretly a pirate. They’d ask if I had a sword. I do! They’d ask if I had a compass. I do. They were disappointed I didn’t have a monkey or a ship. I told them that it was a tough market to keep a crew and a tall ship. It sounded important enough that they didn’t ask about the ship anymore.

So today, I was volunteering in the Little Kidlet’s kindergarten class. His teacher was reading to the kids, table by table- so I was keeping an eye on the other tables. That’s when I heard this from LK’s table. “Who would win in a fight,” said one little boy. “A werewolf or a whale shark.” A second little boy considered this. “Can werewolves swim?” My son, bless him, shook his head. “Whale sharks are big, but they aren’t mean. My brother knows all about them. You could ask my mom about werewolves. She knows about them, too.” The entire table turned to look at me. But nobody came over to ask.

Until I had LK at my table so that we could go over flashcards, and as we finished, he started to get a serious look on his face. “Can werewolves swim?” (I should point out that he addressed me the way that his teacher introduces me – because when I’m there, I’m technically not ‘Mom’.)

“Can all people swim?”

“No,” he said. “Some people don’t know how.”

“Then I’m guessing some werewolves can swim, some can’t.”

“Who would win?”

I leaned over. “I’m guessing the werewolf. Unless it didn’t have a boat and had to swim out to find the whale shark. It’d probably be too tired to do much of anything.”

“I’m going to tell them that.” He sad down in his seat. “My mom said that werewolves are like people, so some can swim and some can’t. I told you she knows things.”

“How does she know them?”

“I dunno.”

How long do you think until they’ve decided that either I am a werewolf or that I’m married to one?

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