Posted in personal
September 23, 2015

Happy #BiVisibilityDay

bisexual visibility dayI know, I’ve crossed into hashtagging post titles. I’ve gone to the Dark Side. (Or maybe I’m already there. Huh)

Today is Bi Visibility Day, a day to point out that Bisexual people do exist, and that we’re just normal people.

Because bisexual people tend to be ignored. A lot of people firmly believe you’re either gay or straight. I can’t tell you how many people (gay or straight) who find out I have a husband and when I mention that I’m bi, mention that I decided I was straight since I married a guy.

Or how many LGBT friendly spaces I realized weren’t all that friendly when people discovered that I’m a bisexual woman married to a man.

I had people wonder if I wasn’t just experimenting (even though I never had a relationship with a woman) or confused. (I can’t begin to explain the love/hate relationship I have with Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”)

I’ve listened to people who didn’t know my orientation refer to bisexual people as being greedy nymphomaniacs.

I’ve also watched as bisexual celebrities who are out are relabeled by the media. Alan Cumming? Bi, but is constantly reported as gay. Cara Delevingne? Out as bisexual (and involved with a woman currently) but in a print interview, the author suggested it was merely a phase. Freddie Mercury? Bisexual, but pretty much everyone thinks he’s gay. Remember, Fat Bottomed Girls did make his rocking world go round. Cynthia Nixon, also bisexual, but frequently described as later deciding she was a lesbian. It’s frustrating to watch.

Bisexual people exist. We remain bisexual despite who we’re involved with, shockingly enough.

And I’ve watched main character after main character in Movies or on TV come to a realization that they are not straight, but gay. Not gay, but straight. No realization that they’re bi. (And if there are bi characters, they’re either minor or villains)

That’s why I write bisexual characters. Part of it is that I write what I know- but a bigger part is that I want people to understand that bisexuality isn’t a fad and that it isn’t an oddity either. The only difference is that we happen to be attracted to more than just one gender.

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